So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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