I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
