Sober January is a disaster.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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