I wannas sexs uuuuu
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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