Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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