if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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