i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She announced her abortion via fbk
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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