feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
