the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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