I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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