i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
