I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Can I color on your dick again?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
