Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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