You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
