I will die if light touches me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
