Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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