A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize