OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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