Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
