discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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