Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
