I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
