No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just blew my weed a kiss
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
