the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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