I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
