hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize