So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I CAN MOONWALK!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
