Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
