One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize