I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
