My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He passed out mid-signature
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I need water and some morals
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize