your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize