everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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