guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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