That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
