I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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