Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
