You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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