i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
