The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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