I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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