Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
