You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
