is your mom at the bar?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
