Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
