When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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