You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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