I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize