I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Four minutes until I can fart!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
