when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
