i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
this hospital has no fireball
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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