i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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