maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
