Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
