Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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