Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
