I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
