if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize