I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
