Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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