He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
